Talking of the Youth!
A man got very angry of a cat in his house. He took a stick in his hand and ran after the cat. Cat went into a room and tried to hide itself somewhere. Man quickly closed and locked the door and started looking for the cat. Holding the stick high in air, he was very much angry and wanted to teach the cat a very good lesson. The cat tried to escape and ran here and there but could not find any way out. The door was locked and windows and ventilators were firmly nailed out. Man came very close to him, holding the stick in air, aiming to hit the cat with all his power. The cat, which was very frightened and afraid some moments ago but when saw no way to escape and saw the harsh blow of stick going to land on his head any moment, at once got very dangerous. She jumped at one of the ventilators and took a position as if going to jump on the man. She tried to warn the man by her angry voice but man rushed towards him. When man was about to whirl the stick, she at once jumped on him like a fire ball and pinched her claws into his eyes. Man gave out a loud cry with pain and anguish and a stream of blood ran down his eyes.
This story is shared by famous poet Saadi, advising us not to close all the doors to a person, otherwise, he would do whatever he could to get out of this locked condition, and even the most unexpected reaction will come out of him.
A few years back, I was waiting for doctor in the waiting room of a hospital. I had gone directly from office and was not able to change my suit. Some more patients were waiting, and among them were the two bearded men who caught my notice because they observed me, or I should better say my dress-up thoroughly and critically. Their heads came close to each other and they exchanged some comments while eyes were still fixed on me. I felt a bit uneasy but then I tried to pull them off my head, took out my mobile phone and got busy with it. After some time, a boy of late-teenage came accompanying a lady. The lady went to the ladies’ waiting room while the boy came and sat among us. This boy was just like our present day kids; wearing jeans and a T-shirt, his hair styled in Ronaldo style while a latest mobile phone was in his non-stop use. The situation that had made me feel uneasy a bit earlier now changed into an interesting observation. As expected, the bearded men beamed their full attention towards the boy and this time intensity was even more; their foreheads more wrinkled and their eyes even more fiery and critical. They again started whispering joining their heads together and they were not much clever in it as they did not take their eyes away from the boy. It was not difficult for me to understand the feelings and the condition of the boy, who first tried to ignore them and when saw this useless, went outside.
More or less, almost every middle or old aged man is unhappy of our young generation. There is a small fraction of people who are educated or much sensitive about the feelings of youth who are exception to this, otherwise, we are all having a number of complaints from our youth. Their hairstyle, their dressing, their friends, their habits, their routines and hobbies and many more personality traits are continually criticized and openly discussed. If we are sure that we will face no resistance from them and they will not be able to protest it, we don’t miss a chance to criticize them openly. This stops when they grow such big and strong that their mere gaze warns us to be a bit careful in this regard.
One day, I sat with a friend of mine and started evaluating the situation and we came up with an absolute opposite and unexpected conclusion. Most of these complaints are baseless; what do we have to do with their dress or hairstyle if it is not going to harm their moral characters or family or religious values.
Actually, there is a very important but hidden psychological factor that gives birth to this problem. We were in habit of commanding and controlling our children when they were young and weak. When they grew, we couldn’t realize that it was important to accept this new condition and thus couldn’t adopt ourselves to this scenario. Then we shouted and screamed and when saw no result of these as well, we resorted to the criticism, which is comparatively a less offensive way of solacing our defeat.
First thing that elders need to know is that our children no more remain children and the way we treated them and the way we expected them to treat us has absolutely changed and this fact, however hard to accept, should be whole-heartedly accepted.
Adolescence is a very critical time in the life of a human being and our kids pass through a time of turbulent changes and majority of them remain absolutely unaware of these changes. But as these changes are both physical and emotional so they definitely get affected from them and it is the reason why we notice very extreme reactions like remaining silent or isolated or being very much excited or irritant on small things. We know and admit that they are not in an age when they should be able to comprehend these quick changes then it is absolutely unfair from elders’ side to complain from them of their inappropriate behaviors and also not to help them to tackle these changes without complicating the things. It becomes obligatory to us because we passed through this age or we are more experienced comparing to them in the issues of the world or we have read some psychology to be of help to them.
When we compare our kids to that of developed countries, we feel much relieved because in developed countries, they are provided with a number of facilities and yet the problems with youth remain the same. If we provide them with proper facilities and guidance, I am sure they would perform more than our expectations, whatever the field of life maybe.
A successful university chancellor was asked if how he was so much effective in controlling the youth who are generally considered to be very difficult to be controlled. He concluded his skills and strategies in two simple rules; first, be very just while dealing with the youth. Most of the time, their demands or protests are fair and reasonable and if we believe in justice, we must accept their viewpoints when found reasonable. Stubbornness does not suit anyone and it really annoys our youngsters when such baseless stubbornness is shown by an elder. Second, feelings and emotions of youth are very fragile and thus need to be dealt with very carefully. One needs to be very sensitive while considering their problems. This sensitivity and vigilance is the trait of good leaders and can be learned from books and observations as well. If we say that our youngsters are stupid and sentimental, we, as elders, should avoid those things which we don’t like in our youngsters.
A scholar says, ‘If a wall is leaning and you want to repair and make it straight, the first thing you need to do is to get close to it. After reaching to it, you will be able to proceed to the second step. Nothing good would be done from a distance, be it a wall or people’.
If we don’t want that our youth should drift out of our hands, we need to make them believe that we are their well-wishers. We need to ignore their shortcomings, praise and appreciate their good qualities, get into compromise on certain issues and situations and use the weapon of love. This was the strategy that prophets utilized to change the people; be it young or old.